Krishna Rao

A Fool’s Hope

  • A castle of sentences

    Lately, when I get stuck for words, I imagine I am standing in front of a closed door.

    All I need to do to open the door is write one sentence. The sentence may be short or long or awkward or angry or wise.

    It doesn’t matter.

    What matters is that it’s a sentence.

    As I step through the door, inside, I find something beautiful,

    Or scary, or soothing,

    Or boring, or nothing.

    It doesn’t matter.

    What matters is that I note what I find and look for the next door.

    I write another sentence,

    And that door opens.

    And then the next

    And then the next

    Until…

    I open the door that takes me outside.

    (Or, I’ve hit my deadline!)

    I step back and see,

    A castle of sentences.

  • Waiting for your Sierpiński triangle

    Waiting for your Sierpiński triangle

    Here’s a math lesson for creators! First, I’ll talk about the math and then the lesson for creators.

    The math

    I follow this excellent channel called Science is Fun on Instagram. The creator recently posted a video demonstrating a mathematical phenomenon called the Sierpiński triangle. (The original video is by Math Letters.)

    https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtM2j_7oh5h/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

    Start by placing three dots that form the vertices of an equilateral triangle. Make a dot randomly anywhere within the triangle. Now, place more dots by following two rules.

    1. You choose any one of the original three dots.
    2. Move towards the dot you’ve just placed, and at the midway point, drop another dot.

    Again, choose any one of the original three dots and move towards the latest dot you’ve placed and at the midway point drop a new dot.

    According to the video, if you do this thousands of times, a pattern will start to emerge called – you guessed it – the Sierpiński triangle.

    And now the lesson for creators

    Being a creator is like making a Sierpiński triangle. Every day, we show up and place a dot following a couple of rules. The individual dots look meaningless. There is no picture, nothing to appreciate. But place the dots enough number of times, and a pattern emerges. Not just a pattern but one of the most beautiful fractal patterns you’ll see.

    So, go ahead, place a dot. We’re waiting for your Sierpiński triangle.

  • Lean into the burn

    Lean into the burn

    Step-ups, Lat Pull Downs, Bent Over Rows, Cable Cross.

    There was a time when these phrases meant nothing to me. Sadly, these days I know. I not only know them, I live through them a few times a week.

    And it’s not enough to do them once. Ah, the cruel masters of the gym have deemed that hapless mortals repeat these actions multiple times. They try to make it sound cool by calling them reps. Multiple reps make up a set. And you need to do multiple sets. (!)

    Well, if you’re human, a few reps in, you’ll feel your muscles burn. The temptation, then, is to count down. Ten reps left. Nine reps left. Eight reps left… You get the idea.

    But this is a mistake.

    Because now my mind is focused only on finishing the set – avoiding the pain. And avoiding pain is like adding another 10 kilos on the machine. You suffer unnecessarily.

    Instead, I lean into the burn – focusing only on the rep I’m doing and nothing more. So, yes, I am experiencing pain – but less pain than if I were to try and countdown.

    I am discovering that the training helps when I swap the gym for my desk. When I’m staring at the blank screen instead of 25 kilos on the machine.

    I don’t rush to avoid the pain. Instead, I lean into the burn.

  • Intention and Expectation

    Every action has an associated intention and expectation.

    Sometimes intention and expectation are articulated by our minds. We know why we are taking an action and what we expect from it. But often, they are not. This may not always be a problem. However, if you find yourself struggling to act, it might be because your intention or expectation is focused on the result and not the process.

    A well-formed intention helps bring greater meaning to action. It might even make it more enjoyable. Expectation, on the other hand, is a speculation. It is best tamped down.  

  • Why I aim to be ‘better’ and not the ‘best’

    We want to be the best. Aiming to be the best is considered a worthy pursuit in the society. I did too.

    But I recently changed my mind because I am trying to evaluate every thought by a simple yardstick: Does this line of thinking take me towards action?

    ‘Best’ is a binary label. You are either the best or you are not. When you struggle – and all creative pursuits involve struggle – it’s difficult to believe that what you’re creating is the ‘best’. This is the easiest way to lose motivation. Pretty soon I’m logged on to Netflix simply because whatever effort I’m putting in, isn’t producing the ‘best’ results. So, pursuing the best, takes me away from the very things I need to move forward.

    Instead, I try to be ‘better’. The cool thing about becoming better is that I can be better in different ways. I can be better to different degrees. Even if I didn’t produce as many words today as I did yesterday, I am still in a better place today because the story has moved forward just that little bit.

    Trying to become better allows me to put in the work.

    So, I aim to be better, not the best.

  • The most important lesson from Steve Jobs we all miss

    The most important lesson from Steve Jobs we all miss

    Steve Jobs’s obsession with excellence has a somewhat mythical status. Many of us believe we can never be as good as Jobs simply because we can never reach his levels of excellence. And yet, there is a counterintuitive lesson from Steve Jobs’s life that productivity and business gurus often miss.

    In 2007, Steve Jobs announced the iPhone in front of a packed audience. Since then, once every year, Jobs – and after him, Tim Cook – would get up on stage and announce that Apple had created the “best iPhone ever”. 

    This is untrue. Jobs and the rest of the Apple team knew that the phone on stage wasn’t the “best iPhone ever”. A better version existed in Apple’s research labs. Their engineers knew the current version’s flaws and possible improvements that could be made to it. 

    From this, creators can draw an important lesson: We don’t need to wait to create the perfect story, song, or recipe before sharing it with the rest of the world. Sure there are things you could improve. But your creation with all its flaws – known and unknown – is the “best ever.”

    We can take this logic a step further. You don’t have to wait for the perfect mood, tools, skills, or ideas to create stuff. Whatever skills, tools, or ideas you have right now are the “best ever” at this moment. 

    (Image Courtsey: Blake Patterson)

  • Using time

    Using time

    Today’s Sunday. It’s a rare day when I have time. I immediately started thinking about what I could do with this time.

    That’s the funny thing about time. The moment I notice I have it, I start thinking about how I can spend it.

    The moment I start thinking about how I can spend it, I start thinking about how I can spend it well.

    The moment I start thinking about how I spend my time well, I get anxious. Is there a better way to spend time? Just as there is always a better dress, a better partner, a better restaurant, there is a better way to spend time. This is especially true for those of us who are pursuing a creative calling seriously. After all, the time spent not earning money is the time we have to build our creative portfolio.

    So, not having time brings discomfort. Having time brings discomfort too.

    Accepting this discomfort is key to living a satisfying life.

    Here’s what I am attempting. I give up trying to save time or do more with my time. Instead, I focus on just one thing I can or have to do in the present.

    I’m finding that this doesn’t stem the discomfort that’s inherent to life, but it might just be the path of living a satisfying life.

  • Simple, Wordle

    Simple, Wordle

    I love Wordle’s emphasis on simplicity.

    It’s a game of deduction, not just random guessing. But if you had to choose between two possible answers, the simpler one is usually the correct choice.

    Case in point, a couple of days ago, I came across a word where I had two letters right.

    _ _ _ O R

    I guessed T U M O R.

    As it turned out, the word was H U M O R.

    Lesson learnt. When it comes to Wordle – and indeed many other situations in life – the simpler choice will usually lead you to the answer.

  • Come back

    I almost did not write this post today. 

    I started early in the morning trying to write a different post. But the words didn’t flow. I spent the whole day agonising over breaking my streak (I have written a post every day for nine straight days). 

    I was afraid that breaking it would mean triggering the downward slide. That’s how I have given up my earlier attempts to blog. It always starts with letting myself off the hook – one day, then the next, and then the next.

    But here’s the thing about resilience. It is not just about maintaining streaks. It is also about holding on to something you can come back to despite missing your streak. So, if you missed one day, come back the next. And if you missed that day too, come back the day after that.

    Sometimes being accountable is about letting go of the inner disciplinarian who keeps us in line and reminding yourself why you started a project in the first place. Reconnecting with that initial innocence and naivety can sometimes offer a tiny thread that you can grab and get back onto the streak.

  • Will I run out?

    Will I run out?

    Of ideas. Of inspiration. The sheer will to put in the seemingly tiny amount of work to put words on the page.

    These are the things that worry me. Perhaps they worry you too. 

    I am astonished when I hear that authors wrote multiple books that never got published. The mind boggles to think that they must have written 40,000-80,000 words, then created multiple drafts based on feedback for each book. That doesn’t even take into account the time they spent identifying literary agents and writing proposals.

    How do they come up with so many plots and think of so many characters? Even if the novel is not quite up to the mark, I would find it extremely difficult to create so many storylines. Which, of course, worries me whether I am being a fool even to attempt such a goal. 

    I had the same fears when I started this blog. How many writers have attempted to do this and failed? I know of at least one. Me. I have failed countless times to start a blog. Why should this time be different? 

    The honest answer is, ‘I don’t know.’ But I can tell you I have a different approach this time around. I think this approach will work. At least I want it to work. And my fears regarding ideas? Well, the more I write, build a bank of posts, the more I think about writing, the more I get new ideas. 

    All this is a roundabout way of saying that your mind is an ideas machine. So lead your life, read books, listen to music, watch films. And then show up with a pen in your hand (or the keyboard under your fingertips) and watch it churn out some utter shit, but also a few gems.