We spend a fair amount of time obsessing over right vs wrong. However, the words ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ have a binary quality. While there are many situations where this serves us and society well, there as many – if not more – situations that defy such easy categorisation.
Now, this is not a post on morality. Here, I wish to address the more mundane topic of decision making. How do we decide on a course of action when we are not sure if it is the right or wrong one? Or, what if we know what is the right action, but don’t feel like taking it?
Let’s say it is 7 am on a Monday morning. You’ve just woken up. There are emails to be checked, meetings coming up, and you are reminded of the status reports to be filed by the end of the day. It occurs to you that you should take 10 minutes to meditate. But the rush, the anticipation of the hectic day to come, is distracting you. You itch to open your laptop instead.
Let’s pause. The ‘right vs wrong’ framework serves us poorly here. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with skipping meditation. If we do, we are likely to enter a spiral of thinking – blaming ourselves for, well, wanting to do the wrong things.
In such ‘grey’ situations, I find it is more helpful to ask a gentler question: Is this action helpful?
Meditation is a step towards a balanced state of mind. Checking email as soon as you wake up is likely a step towards imbalance. This question reduces the emotional stakes that ‘right vs wrong’ brings with it. With the stakes lowered, I find my mind moving towards balance – and more likely to make a decision that is helpful.
Now, obviously, things don’t tie up neatly like a bow every time. Despite the gentler question, I may well choose the option that is unhelpful. And no, it does not make me feel good. But by lowering the stakes, I give myself a better shot at reaching and staying in a balanced state of mind.
A state of mind that hopefully takes more right decisions than wrong.